Your biggest fear will be realised if you do this…

Natalie Shaul001

Your biggest fear will be realised if you do this…

You are simply setting yourself up for the thing you desperately want to avoid.

Failure!

Aiming for perfection is futile.

It’s a state that doesn’t actually exist.

As a recovering perfectionist, I often see a glimpse of my old self in my clients.

In the first weeks they will arrive with their head low, their shoulders slumped and the look of defeatism on their face.

They will have done 95% of the actions for the week but they will focus on the 5% they didn’t do.

The week will be declared a fail!

Recognise this?

There will be little to no acknowledgment of any successes.

Nothing they’ve done is ever good enough.

At work they will feel overwhelmed and overloaded because they can’t trust anyone else to do the work as well as they can. They simply want it done properly!

Or…

They will have done nothing!

If it can’t be perfect, then what’s the point in trying?

Perfectionists need approval.

Their sense of self-worth depends on what others think of them because they are riddled with self-doubt.

It all sounds rather tiring right?

Having been there myself I know exactly how exhausting it is.

These days I consider myself a recovering perfectionist.

I am able to celebrate my successes, big and small and the fear of failure no longer paralyses me.  

Here’s how you can remove the shackles of perfectionism –

  • Get rid of the all or nothing mindset – failure and success and do it all or do nothing. In reality success happens incrementally and not in an all or nothing fashion.
  • Know your value – stop with the negative self-talk and focus on what you are good at. Think of three things you do well.
  • Celebrate your successes – no matter how big or small. Allow yourself to acknowledge a job well done.
  • Ask yourself –
    • Am I jumping to a negative conclusion?
    • Is this really as bad as I think?
    • Will this moment matter in 5 years time?
  • Learn to delegate – you don’t have to do it all. Learn to trust the ability of others and show them how to help themselves rather than doing it for them.

It’s time to stop setting yourself up for failure.

Lower your impossible standards and set yourself up for success instead!

 

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