Finally I FEEL enough ❤️

I have spent longer than I care to remember trying to FEEL enough.

To BE enough.

Maybe if I could get that next promotion?

Or that salary increase?

That car?

That holiday?

Maybe then I would be enough…

Maybe if I straightened my hair I would fit in?

If I lost that weight then I could be like the other pretty girls?

If I got those clothes I would be trendy enough?

And the biggest one for me…

Maybe if my skin was finally clear then I would be beautiful.

And then and only then would I find the one to love me, because finally then I would be enough.

Wouldn’t I? ?

I was so embarrassed by my blotchy skin that I hid it from myself and everyone else under layers of make up and skin clearing filters.

I was ashamed of my face.

What the actual f*ck!!

The problem was none of it ever led to me feeling that I was enough.

And in the process of trying so hard to be who I thought I should be, I lost who I really am.

So I’ve been using lock down to learn to love myself, my true self.

To work through the layers of identify I have adopted but that aren’t really me.

Some of those layers have been obvious and others have been there so long it’s taken me a while to spot them.

Slowly but surely I have been getting back to Natalie. To ME!

Because finally I know that I am enough.

Finally I can post these pictures of my natural hair and my natural face.

No make up or filters to hide the blemishes, just a little mascara to enhance what I have rather than hide what I have.

Finally I love me so much I can show you the real me.

Finally I know that I am beautiful and lovable just the way I am.

Finally I FEEL enough ❤️

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