Existing and NOT Living

Life is SHIT!

Chronically ill and sad.

Existing and not living.

This is the dire state I started the year in…

I opened my eyes each day and wondered how on earth I was going to drag my exhausted arse through yet another day.

Recognise this feeling?

I’ve spent a lot of this evening reflecting and I feel overcome with emotion when I think of the stark difference between the start and the end of this year!

I actually go to bed excited to wake up early the next morning.

I feel like I spring out of bed like Tigger with a smile on my face.

Here are the lessons I learned that brought me back to life in 2018…

Dis-ease leads to disease – undealt with emotions, pain, hurt and anger manifests in the body as illness. It is no coincidence that my thyroid condition and chronic fatigue have gone into remission as I have worked through my emotional backlog.
Being selfish is a necessity – putting everyone else first and yourself to the bottom of the pile can only last so long, eventually you will run out of steam. Looking after and putting myself first has afforded me more energy to give to others.
Forgiveness is healing – forgiving those that have hurt, betrayed and let you down even though they aren’t sorry and don’t deserve forgiveness isn’t about letting them off the hook. It’s about you. By letting go of that negative emotion I have freed myself and made room for more happiness in my life. Easy? No! Worth it? Absolutely!
Be your own best friend – we are often so much more critical of ourselves than we would be of anyone else, chastising ourselves for mistakes and setting impossible standards. By learning to show the love, kindness and acceptance that I would show a friend to myself, I have been able to set myself up for success rather than failure.
Feel the fear and do it anyway – when something is unfamiliar, scary or perceived as difficult we can create all manner of reasons (excuses) to not do it. But I have learned that with discomfort comes growth which makes me stronger, braver and more resilient every time. A lot less things seem a lot less scary these days.
Failing isn’t really failing – we have such a fear of failing, of letting others down and embarrassing ourselves that this very fear in itself can create ‘failure’. Only I have come to realise that failing isn’t really failing, it’s just an opportunity to learn, grow and improve. Failure is a lot less worrying when I think of it like that.
Our thoughts create our reality – if you tell yourself you can’t do something the reality is you probably won’t be able to. You’ll go into it fearful of failure, reserved and halfhearted and that’s never a recipe for success. I’ve found telling myself I can do something (whether I know I can or not) means more often than not I can as I put all my effort in to doing it. Sometimes you’ve just got to fake it till you make it!
If you numb yourself to pain you also numb yourself to happiness – if you are numb you are numb, you can’t be selective about it. If you are shutting off pain, sadness and disappointment then you are also shutting off happiness, excitement and fulfillment. I have learned that I have an array of emotions for a reason and that I am meant to feel them all and in allowing myself to do so I experience greater levels of happiness and satisfaction in my life.
The power of coaching – I don’t say this because I’m a coach, more that I’m a coach because this is what I believe. We all have blind spots, we all need help to gain perspective at times, we all have greater levels of success when we are held accountable and sometimes we need someone to believe in us until we are capable of believing in ourselves. Investing in coaching was the ultimate gift to myself as I am now following my passion for coaching others and living a life I love.