Telling someone several times a day that they are ugly, not good enough, stupid or pathetic is unkind.
Would you talk to a friend like that?
I didn’t think so…
If they were nervous or sad would you call them an idiot?
No, you’d you put your arm around them and tell them how wonderful they are wouldn’t you.
So why then do we bully ourselves?
Why don’t we treat ourselves with the same love and kindness that we treat others with?
Many of us are brought up to not be selfish, to put the needs of others ahead of our own.
We grow up believing that looking after ourselves is indulgent.
We believe that in order to excel we must be critical of ourselves.
From personal experience I know that living this way has a shelf life.
Over time it led to anxiety and insecurity.
It’s exhausting and eventually I had nothing left to give.
How many people was I able to help when I was physically and mentally shattered?
Precisely none.
Self-compassion isn’t about being selfish or indulgent…
It’s about looking after yourself which affords you the energy to go on giving to others.
Here’s how to have compassion for yourself so that you can avoid compassion burnout –
- Become aware of how you treat yourself in comparison to how you treat others – are you equally as supportive?
- Be kind to yourself – be as encouraging to yourself as you would to a small child, be supportive rather than critical.
- Let yourself off the hook – you don’t expect perfection from your friends, you love them flaws and all. Apply to the same to yourself.
It’s time to stop being a bully. Be your own best friend instead!
