What do you do when you’re angry?
Most of the women I coach don’t show their anger.
Some of them have even convinced themselves they don’t ever get angry.
You see, often as little girls we are conditioned to believe that anger is a bad thing…
We feel it makes us ugly and unlovable.
We feel shame for experiencing anger.
So we hide it.
We stuff it down.
We deny its existence within us.
Over time this becomes such a default habit we don’t even know we’re doing it.
Many years ago a friend pointed out that I would smile when I was angry.
I didn’t think much of it at the time.
Years later when I did the inner work and learned to connect to the emotions I feel but had abandoned, I came to understand why.
This week I spoke to a lady who laughed when she felt angry.
She didn’t know that’s why she was laughing.
It became clear when I questioned her laughter at a none laughing matter.
Others find themselves overeating. Some keep themselves unsustainably busy.
Some take drugs, drink alcohol or smoke.
Others pick their skin or hair pull.
Quite often these same women will have the occasional angry, even rageful, outburst.
All the anger they had not been expressing comes bursting out.
They feel ashamed.
So they push the anger away again.
The cycle continues and repeats.
Anger in itself isn’t a bad thing.
No emotion is good or bad, it just is.
I help women to understand their behaviours and become clear on what they’re masking.
I help them to understand and connect with all of their emotions.
And I help them to find healthy ways to express them so that they can live a fuller, happier and more joyful life.
Here’s something you can do right now if you’ve got some anger you need to let out
Get some bean bags/squishy balls/soft toys and throw them with force at the wall.
Do it over and over again until you feel you’ve released the anger.
How does that feel?